Humor: Yemen’s ‘Ministry of Corruption’

Published on 6 June 2013 in Opinion
Afrah Nasser (author)

Afrah Nasser


With the motto “keep calm and corrupt everything,” Yemen’s government establishes for the first time ever in its history—and in any other country's history—a Ministry of Corruption.

The decision didn’t come as a surprise since the Yemeni government enjoys a long history in conducting corruption. The Ministry of Corruption aims to be the Government’s lead advisor on the corrupt system, shaping direction for corrupt offices and politicians.

The ministry will concern itself on all matters related to corruption, including money laundering, bribing, the insufficiency in building essential infrastructure as corrupt leaders skim funds, dirty taxation, stealing estate lands and—of course—the utter lack of accountability. But that’s not all. On top of that, the ministry will launch a national coaching campaign throughout the country to introduce citizens to this fascinating sustainable source of income.

The process of establishing the ministry was not easy. There were many applicants. When the government made an open call for Yemeni politicians to apply and fill in the positions, it was amazing, yet not surprising, that they received a huge number of applicants. Politicians poured in their requests to join the Ministry of Corruption. The ministry promises to perform very well and ensures that each of its staff gets richer, more influential and more corrupt.

The establishment of the ministry comes in the wake of Yemen’s uprising and the increasing opportunities for corruption in the country’s national treasury which is almost becoming empty.

The exploitation on the money aid given for wounded protesters during the uprising and the crazy amount of money given to create Yemen’s National Dialogue are just a few examples of the increasing, recent opportunities to corrupt. Needless to say, Yemen’s government has always mastered corrupting international aid given for America’s “war on terror,” in which it was used, instead of eradicating terrorist groups, to empower army divisions that would eventually perform an efficient crackdown on the people.

Politicians in Yemen were becoming stressed because there were increasing matters to corrupt and they were tired of running from one ministry to another. Establishing the Ministry of Corruption was much-needed and the corruption process had to be more efficient. Plus, as the citizens were becoming poorer and the unemployment rate hit the sky, they were delighted to see transparency in Yemen’s unity government. Now, finally, citizens can know exactly where to find corrupt politicians.

Citizens won’t only enjoy more transparency, but they’ll also have free coaching lessons on the “how-to-corrupt” skills. One of the services that the ministry will perform is to give coaching lessons to citizens throughout the country on everything related to corruption, since it's Yemen’s most sustainable method for an income.

Overall, the citizens were very happy about establishing the ministry’s transparency and the fact that they'll receive skillful training on how to be corrupt, but efficient in their corruption. Nevertheless a huge number of Yemeni citizens already do that, especially the ones who have, say, $200 salary per a month and manage to feed a family consisted of 12 members with that, the citizens expressed great deal of content to receive the skillful training.

Ousted president Ali Abdullah Saleh was the mastermind behind the establishment, given the fact that he is the most experienced person in the country's history. At the moment, out of his 33-years experience, Saleh’s giving intensive training to president Hadi on how to give away influential political positions to his relatives, with an absolute disregard to their competency. President Hadi has already planted a number of his relatives in ministries, governmental offices, banks, and so on.

At the moment, it’s not clear whether the ministry will exist for a long time or not. Corrupt politicians seem already to be stealing the funds allocated for maintaining the ministry.

Afrah Nasser is a freelance journalist and blogger.