Dear men,
I am wondering why this usually happens in Yemen, why it is that men consider women inferior to them although Islam never says that. Islam on the other hand has definitely honored the woman and has never degraded her for sure. Why does a woman’s success or excellence in all walks of life and achievement leave everyone cold and unexcited in a country like Yemen? Very long a go, women had innumerable constraints imposed on them by social and moral conventions, which with the passage of time gave way to women’s empowerment, enabling them to enter different fields they wish to choose without a hindrance or hesitation. This drastically reduced the gap between the sexes in many nations except Yemen. The picture is still different in Yemen.
I am addressing men with open, broad and rational mindsets, men with a comprehensive understanding of Islamic principles and rules. I am not an iconoclastic bohemian who has no respect for what Islam has to offer. Surely, I don’t want to violate the Islamic ethos simply to appease myself and in pursuance of my views. I’d never do that. But I am presenting a facet of some Yemeni men, which I experienced during my research stay in India.
Almighty never oppresses and creates inequity among his believers (both men and women). It is mentioned in the holy Qur’an that “Allah is never unjust in the least degree: If there is any good (done), He doubleth it, and giveth from His own self a great reward” (40/15). He rewards and punishes each sex according to their deeds. He never unfairly curtails the woman’s reward, simply because of her feminine nature, Almighty says: “Whoever works righteously, man or woman, and has faith, Verily, to him will We give a life that is good and pure, and We bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions”(97-14). We also find that Allah has clearly and graciously honored the women and revealed An-Nisa’a Surat (An-nisa’a literally means women in English) that deals with the women’s rights in marriage, property and inheritance. These rights are justly recognized and should be respected by Muslims.
Almighty has fairly differentiated between men and women, allotting all their duties and rights equally. It is true that man is much different from a woman in the sense that he is physically stronger than her, has to earn a living to support his family. But a woman can also do the same and help. A man also has the right of dominance in his family. A wife should be obedient to him and it is a must for her to do the man’s bidding and bring kids up. It is clear in this Lord’s sacred verse: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given men more (strength) than women, and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard…”(34/15). In return, a husband should be understanding, caring, helpful, appreciative and devoted. Both should be aware of and follow all the Islamic instructions. In the long run, a man may not live a life without a woman since there is no life without a wife.
I want fair people with elastic minds to judge some men, who are, I think, creeping, ill-natured, narrow-minded and having jaundiced eyes. These men are practically unable to steer the wheels of their lives and their conduct doesn’t accord with any level of their education. Therefore, they are prone to sneak into others’ affairs with doubtful looks at women. If someone is unable to achieve progress in his life, why would he act as a peeping Tom and hoot that ‘she is just a woman’? He should realize that such behavior/reaction only reveals the inferiority complex he suffers from. Let her be a decent woman with a successful life and strong will. This is better than being a man with numerous failures in life and immature, childish behaviour.
I think these social bias and distorted prejudiced irrational perspectives are instilled in the minds of many illiterate people and a few educated ones. In retrospect, I still remember the comments of some of my male classmates, who were undergoing an English course with me some years back. They taunted one female teacher who was teaching us, not verbally but just with their looks. After the class, they commented sarcastically, ‘they shouldn’t ask a lady to teach us’. Whenever this teacher started her classes late or changed the timetable, those students made fun of her after the class, saying with great contempt, “Stay at home lady”! My female classmates and I felt so bad because belittling this good teacher meant denigration of all the female human species.
Also, I’d never forget the reaction of one of the Yemeni students who was the only Arab and Yemeni observer at a Seminar in Bangalore where I presented my second ELT paper in 2004. Some of the seminar organizers wanted to please me because I was the only Yemeni and Arabic-speaking presenter there, so they intentionally introduced this Yemeni to me. I felt really happy to meet, at last, one with an Arabic-speaking tongue. I thought he would encourage me since all the participants were Indians and aliens. But, surprisingly, his reaction was unexpected. He was completely taken back by the sight of a Yemeni, that too a woman from a city like Hodeidah being there to present paper. He patted his head and exclaimed with incredulous looks: ‘I can’t believe that a young woman and from Hodeidah is here to present a paper’! I have furiously retorted ‘What!’ ‘What do you mean?’ What’s wrong if I am a woman and from Hodeidah! Is the Yemeni woman useless and unable to stand on her own feet and present a paper? I embarrassed him, he then said: ‘No, No…I don’t mean that, but I never imagine that I may once come across a Hodeidaian woman in such a seminar!” I, in return, turned my back on and moved. Then when it was my turn to present the paper on the stage, I reluctantly called him for taking some pictures for me while I was presenting my paper on the stage because all were old lecturers, professors and educationists and I felt ashamed to ask someone to take pictures for me. But he declined and gave a lame excuse “ I don’t know anyone here, so I can’t do that inside the auditorium’.
Let me remind those unjust and rigid men of our history since history never lies. I should proudly remind you all of the Queen of Sheba (by name of Bilqis in Arabian tradition). Her story with the prophet Solomon (i.e. Suliman) is still outstanding and mentioned eloquently in some verses of the Holy Qur’an. This queen is a source of honor and pride for every Yemeni (both male and female). Bilqis is a woman with a broad mind and wisdom that enabled her to run Yemen from every side that time. She had everything with her. Almighty says “… I found (there, namely - in Sheba), a woman ruling over them and provided with every requisite, and she has a magnificent throne” (22-23/19). Her thoughtfulness, dignity, consultative policy and full confidence in herself and her subjects, as disclosed in the holy Qur’an, had made her a successful ruler. Although she is a woman, her people, who were manly, loyal and contented, were ready to carry out all her commands and take the field against any enemy. Allah says: “She said: ‘ye chiefs! Advise me in (this). My affair: no affair have I decided Except in Your presence” (32/19) That the word ‘woman’ is used repeatedly in the Holy Qur’an is an indication of the importance the Almighty accords the woman. But these men don’t discern this.
Admittedly, we, the students abroad, are forming the educational and academic stratum of the Yemeni society. We represent our country abroad and should transmit good ideas and sketch an attractive portrait of Yemen to people around the globe. But, unfortunately, what happens is that some Yemeni students abroad are ‘in search of freedom’, as admitted by them. Their idea of freedom is to practise what they have been deprived of in their country, some want to lead others, others get philosophical, and many adopt the western-life style. They disappointingly follow divergent routes that don’t lead to Rome.
So what if most of them are hailing from well-established wealthy families or from influential tribes! Actually, they shouldn’t boast of that, in stead, they should be proud of what they (themselves) are, what they have achieved and how they have handled their life. They should keep in their minds that their families are waiting for them, their country is opening its hands to receive them though the life is not that easy there but ‘happy is the man with a wise son’.
We should together realize that facts may be ignored but they never cease to exist. As educationists and academicians (women), we should know how to carry on to achieve success. Naturally, every path has a puddle. We should not give up what we believe in, simply because society considers us not practically equal to men. We would surely go ahead and never lose with our honesty, dedication, confidence, decency and faith. Never look back since many expect our fall and setback. Trust yourselves and your potentials and firmly have a belief that you would make it. Let stray creatures hoot contemptibly and they would get lost. Ignore them and be sure that you are the best and will have the laugh last.
I conclude this with my wishes that you, men, have fully perceived the rationale of this letter and what I mean. It is worthwhile here to mention this proverb ‘oak may fall when reeds bend’. Life never goes without men as well as women since they are complementary to each other. But each gladiator should give a chance for others in the arena of Rome to fight in the battle of success. You shouldn’t deny the significance of the other side and should give respect to get respect. Ultimately, remember that ‘the thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing’.